My throat hurts… says Jaime. It doesn’t always happen, but sometimes, when he says this, it means he’s going to have a crisis. And when that happens, you have to leave everything behind, give up what you’re doing and what you were thinking of doing.
Availability and renunciation, issues that are sometimes hard to accept, but which have been my choice, something I have done freely, conditioned by circumstances, but being aware of it. And so the paradox arises, what you have done freely restricts precisely that, freedom. Because choice, free or not, always involves discarding other things and when you do it, there remains the residue of that daydream about what could have been if you had made another decision or if the circumstances had been different.
We talk about being free and many times we think more of a whim than of the awareness of those other things that surround freedom: renunciation, responsibility, the moment, others… the classic condemnation of freedom.
…free… Jaime sings that well-known song that they play for him in the AUCAVI van. He has his obligations that don’t allow him to do what he wants, but he also knows that things have to be done right.
Javier Martinez Erdozain
March 18, 2023